Yeah... Okay... Something about fed Ex just ticks me off. So, to relieve this unnatural dislike for Fed Ex Shipping, I have decided to envision them  being taken over by a large variety of other things and organizations, experiencing a name-change, and just generally... not sucking anymore.

Oh, and anyone can add to this list or bash another company in a similar way.

• Fed Up - Look, Guys! Brown, Red, and Blue! Have you ever SEEN a more stylish truck? They got bought by UPS!
• Dead Ex - Hey, a Necromancer bought the company. Now, they employ only zombies. An improvement, you ask? I think so. Plus, this gives local undead-slayers business. Commonly ship departe dsouls to the World of the Dead. And the flowers you leave on their graves.
• Wed Ex - These guys specialize in shipping Mail-Order brides. IN THE MAIL.
• Red Ex - In Soviet Russia, Package Delivers YOU!
• Med Ex - They ride in pimped-out, refurbished ambulances. They can commonly be seen carrying medicine to injured people, injured people to hospitals, and corpses to the funeral home. Sometimes, they use Choppah's, too.
• Ped Ex - Screw Trucks. Let's deliver every single package ON FOOT. Through Rain, Sleet, Snow...
• Bread Ex -  Oh, crap, we trashed all the trucks! QUICK, STEAL THEM FOOD TRUCKS!
• Head Ex - Okay, so that didn't work out. We'll juse send the packages telepathically.

bwhahaha X3